I was a teacher working in a special school and I’d heard about the Family Link scheme. I had my daughter and by the time she got to about six months old, I thought that I fancied trying it. Because I’d always worked with children with medical needs, it seemed like the area to focus on.
We’ve had a range of children over the years with many different conditions but because of my own professional experience, I felt confident enough to do it. We’ve provided respite care through the Family Link scheme and we’re also registered as foster carers.
It’s different from what you think of as traditional foster caring, because a lot of the children that come to us just need somewhere to go every week so that their own families can have some respite.
We’ve tended to start with younger children and then continue with them. Two of the boys we’ve cared for, we had from the age of 4 until they were 18. The amount of support we provide varies from child to child – for some it might just be an after-school pick-up and tea once a week, for others it could be two or three nights a week. It is a commitment but it’s less so than fostering because you don’t have them 24/7.
It works really well for us now, as we have grown-up children and grandchildren, so we still have time to go and stay with them. Starting when our children were young made it easier for them because it’s all they’ve known.
We’re still in contact with many of the children we’ve cared for and friends with some of their families too. You build up a relationship with them, especially the ones that you have for longer periods. And it creates a bond with families because they have trust you with their child.
We have a social worker who knows us well. When we have space for another child, we’ll sit down with her to talk about who might be suitable for us. We’ll then get some information about them, sort of like a pen picture, so that we know what their needs are, and we can decide whether we might be able to support them.
My husband and I are retired now. But when we first registered as foster carers, I was working three days a week as a teacher. It was helpful to have some flexibility, so some days I would be at home and take the children to school and some days my husband would do it.
We’ve had Family Link children doing their overnight stays here and foster children at the same time, as well as our own three children.
With the foster children, when you’ve had them for a longer period it can be hard when they go, because you’re invested in them. But then you know that there are other children waiting to be fostered. You know that you have to do the best for them when they’re with you and you know from the start that it’s only for a certain period of time.
Our own children and now our grandchildren all get on well with the children that we have.
With the Family Link children, we try and take them to activities and go out and about, but there’s also a certain amount of home time too. I enjoy arts and crafts, so I usually do that with the children.
And I think it’s important to get them doing ‘normal’ things too – I get them feeding the birds and our rabbits, and helping to cut the brambles in our hedge.
Highlight memory:
“Another time, we were on holiday with a foster child. We were on the beach and he wrote mine and my husband’s name in large letters in the sand with the word ‘forever’. When he first came to us, he was about 11 and he wouldn’t look at us at the beginning and would keep his hood up. But gradually he opened up.”